A book about Pornography is calling to me, so I'm writing it.

I'm writing a book about the painful journey from competing with pornography to accepting I couldn't beat it.

There is a point in this journey that I began to find myself again.

Pornography addiction will destroy a person's happiness, a marriage and relationships if one allows it to.

I know, it destroyed my marriage of 25 years!

When I first realized my husband was choosing pornography over me, I thought I could win him back by becoming more attractive. It became a competition. When I learned to stop competing with it, and return to being myself, happiness and self love returned to my life.

I now find myself in a life that I only thought would be mine if I died and went to heaven. I feel so much love around me. Only when I learned to accept and love myself did I realize that I could be happy in this life and not have to wait.

Because I've kept a journal most of my life, including the decades I struggled with my desire to lure my first husband back into our marriage, I have hundreds of journal entries to sift though and draw from.

Some are ugly, some are enlightening; all are important.

This editing process and review of the life I left behind for a happy one is taking time.

I am thankful for your support and encouragement.

I know I am not alone and I know I have a mission to be of help to others through this journey.

My book is in the rough draft form, I need to complete it.

Learning about PEARS (Hint: don't let them ripen on the tree!)

Few things are as rewarding as growing your own food. I realize that my part is small in comparrison to the creator who made the earth possible for us to plant in and harvest from. Feelings of awe and gratitude fill my soul as I participate in the bounty..

THE BEAUTIFUL BOSC PEARS!

This is the first time my little Bosc pear tree has produced enough pears to actually do something with. I'm very proud of my Bosc pear tree, it has endured 5 years of mostly neglect and some abuse from the llamas, mule and horses (which love eating pear branches and leaves).

This year the pear tree has come through it all and rewarded my family with several dozen beautiful pears.

It was so joyful picking the pears. I used a long pole with a picking basket on the end. A pear is ready to pick when you can pull it to the side and it breaks off the branch. (One of the many tips from the O.S.U. Extension Service)

Last year I waited too long to pick the few pears, they fell off the tree and returned to the earth.

This year, I'm on it!

I picked 4 unripe pears last week to see what would happen. One of them was ready to eat today. The others are still pretty hard. In the grocery store, somebody has already figured out when to pick the pears and what to do with them. I googled "When to pick pears?" and up popped a bunch of information. This is a trusted site.

http://extension.oregonstate.edu/gardening/node/413

They say to pick pears before they are ripe, put them in a cold place (30 degrees) for a few days or longer (depending on the type of pear, Bosc is up to 6 weeks), then take them out let them ripen in your house. When we get pears in the store, they have already been in cold storage and are ready to be ripened in your fruit bowl (65 to 75 degrees). If you want to speed up the ripening process, put them in a brown paper bag with an apple or banana and the ethylene gas from the other fruit will hasten the ripening process.