A book about Pornography is calling to me, so I'm writing it.

I'm writing a book about the painful journey from competing with pornography to accepting I couldn't beat it.

There is a point in this journey that I began to find myself again.

Pornography addiction will destroy a person's happiness, a marriage and relationships if one allows it to.

I know, it destroyed my marriage of 25 years!

When I first realized my husband was choosing pornography over me, I thought I could win him back by becoming more attractive. It became a competition. When I learned to stop competing with it, and return to being myself, happiness and self love returned to my life.

I now find myself in a life that I only thought would be mine if I died and went to heaven. I feel so much love around me. Only when I learned to accept and love myself did I realize that I could be happy in this life and not have to wait.

Because I've kept a journal most of my life, including the decades I struggled with my desire to lure my first husband back into our marriage, I have hundreds of journal entries to sift though and draw from.

Some are ugly, some are enlightening; all are important.

This editing process and review of the life I left behind for a happy one is taking time.

I am thankful for your support and encouragement.

I know I am not alone and I know I have a mission to be of help to others through this journey.

My book is in the rough draft form, I need to complete it.

Learning about PEARS (Hint: don't let them ripen on the tree!)

Few things are as rewarding as growing your own food. I realize that my part is small in comparrison to the creator who made the earth possible for us to plant in and harvest from. Feelings of awe and gratitude fill my soul as I participate in the bounty..

THE BEAUTIFUL BOSC PEARS!

This is the first time my little Bosc pear tree has produced enough pears to actually do something with. I'm very proud of my Bosc pear tree, it has endured 5 years of mostly neglect and some abuse from the llamas, mule and horses (which love eating pear branches and leaves).

This year the pear tree has come through it all and rewarded my family with several dozen beautiful pears.

It was so joyful picking the pears. I used a long pole with a picking basket on the end. A pear is ready to pick when you can pull it to the side and it breaks off the branch. (One of the many tips from the O.S.U. Extension Service)

Last year I waited too long to pick the few pears, they fell off the tree and returned to the earth.

This year, I'm on it!

I picked 4 unripe pears last week to see what would happen. One of them was ready to eat today. The others are still pretty hard. In the grocery store, somebody has already figured out when to pick the pears and what to do with them. I googled "When to pick pears?" and up popped a bunch of information. This is a trusted site.

http://extension.oregonstate.edu/gardening/node/413

They say to pick pears before they are ripe, put them in a cold place (30 degrees) for a few days or longer (depending on the type of pear, Bosc is up to 6 weeks), then take them out let them ripen in your house. When we get pears in the store, they have already been in cold storage and are ready to be ripened in your fruit bowl (65 to 75 degrees). If you want to speed up the ripening process, put them in a brown paper bag with an apple or banana and the ethylene gas from the other fruit will hasten the ripening process.

Making Green Tomato Relish and Piccalilli. Waste Not, Want Not

GREEN TOMATO RELISH

REMEMBER, MAKING RELISH IS A 2 DAY PROCESS!

Makes about 8 pints

12 pounds green tomatoes, (peeled and chopped)

1 1/2 cups coarse salt

1 medium head cabbage, chopped

12 cups (96 oz) Cider vinegar

8 onions, chopped

3 Sweet Red Peppers, seeded and chopped

2 green peppers, seeded and chopped

2 tablespoons celery seed

2 tablespoons mustard seed

1 tablespoon ground cinnamon

1 tablespoon ground cloves

1 teaspoon turmeric

1 clove garlic, peeled

Sprinkle chopped tomatoes with salt,cover and let stand at room temperature overnight. Drain thoroughly and place tomatoes in large kettle. Add cabbage and vinegar. Bring to a boil and simmer 30 minutes. Add remaining ingredients and cook until thick, stirring occasionally. Remove garlic clove. Ladle into hot sterilized jars. Sell immediately.

This recipe can be made by chopping the vegetables by hand and or using a food processor.

Making relish is a two day process if you follow the recipe here.

However, preparation is important.

Before any process in the recipe is started, the kitchen needs to be clean, crocks and utensils cleaned, jars and lids made ready. Vegetables and ingredients are gathered for a day or more and stored properly until ready to use.

Here's a photo of the beautiful, aged crocks turned upside down, drying in preparation to being filled with the relish ingredients. Each step of preparation is rewarding as the process unfolds.

PICCALILLI

Makes 5 to 6 pints

2 Sweet red peppers, seeded and chopped

2 green peppers, seeded and chipped

4 cups chopped green tomatoes (about 6)

1 cup chopped celery (about 2 stalks)

2 large onions, chopped

1 small head cabbage, chopped

1/2 cup coarse salt

3 cups cider vinegar

1 teaspoon dry mustard

2 1/4 cups firmly packed light brownsugar

1 teaspoon turmeric

Layer peppers, tomatoes, celery, onion and cabbage, sprinkling each layer with seal. Let mixture stand covered at room temperature overnight. The next day drain thoroughly. Put mixture n a large kettle and add the remaining ingredients. Bring to a boil and simmer, uncovered, 15 to 20 minutes, stirring frequently. Ladle into clean hot pint jars, leaving 1/8 inch headspace. Seal immediately. Process 5 minutes in boiling water bath.

Each step of preparation is rewarding as the process unfolds. When these things are in order, the first day of this two day process begins.

It's time for cleaning and chopping the vegetables. If you really think about it, it's much more then a two days process, especially when you sprout your own tomato seeds that you gathered from the previous year and have tended those little seedlings until they became mature plants and produced tomatoes.

It's more accurate to say, it's a year long process or life-style.

I would encourage anybody who is considering home food preservation to invite family members or friends to join you.

The social part of working and creating together is just one more valuable components of this experience.

Conversations while chopping and measuring are relaxed and friendly. Time slows down and words seem kinder and gentler during this interlude from daily outside stress.

Shared memories are created and relationship bonds are strengthened as cabbages are shredded.

Spending time with my son Abe is the greatest reward of making this relish. Who ever it is that joins you in this journey from garden to kitchen to pantry will enjoy this path you share. We always make enough for ourselves and some to give as gifts.

Abe shared stories with about the relish he has shared throughout the year. His friend Brad Smithard loved the relish so much, he invited Christina and him to come and stay in his hotel in Astoria, and of course Brad reminded Abe to,"Bring some relish."

Another happy recipient of the relish reciprocated with a rattlesnake barbecue and handmade rattlesnake watch band.

Even though true gift giving is an act that never expects a return, one may be surprised by how other's may want to show their appreciation.

Everything we have is provided by the Great Giver, so it is only natural to give back.

As my late mother, who taught me home production, canning and food preservation, Joyce Skilling, aka Nana Skilling taught, "It is better to give then to receive."

Read the recipe, check your pantry for what you already have and then acquire what you don't have.

Spend some time studying the process the recipe uses.

There are sequences to making relish or piccalille, some are more critical then others.

For instance, only some of the vegetables and salt are put in the crock the first day.

The green tomato relish recipe calls for the cabbage to be kept out of the crock until the next day and while the other vegetables are put in the crock with salt. The spices and vinegar are not put in the crock until the next day.

Gather all ingredients before starting relish.

We grew all the tomatoes for this recipe, but had to acquire the cabbage, green and red peppers, celery, onions and garlic. Fortunately we already had the salt, apple cider vinegar and spices.

I always keep a large supply of salt and vinegar in my pantry, I buy it in bulk. These are good items to have on hand for many reasons.

They are inexpensive and very important.

With my lifestyle of striving for self sufficiency and using natural remedies and cleansers, salt and vinegar are some of my go-to supplies.

I used vinegar in many ways from cleaning sinks to drinking it in water in the morning and also for bathing.

It's a healthy alternative to many over the counter cleansers.

Our tomatoes were picked after a light frost so they had gotten some frost bites.

Like us, we get a little weather beaten, but we're still good on the inside.

The frost bites were only skin deep and showed up as dark skin and in some cases soft spots. I just used a parring knife to cut those places off. The inside of the tomatoes were not damaged.

Abe sorted the bad tomatoes out, and put the ones we couldn't use in the bucket for the compost. He washed the usable tomatoes and put them in a bowl for me to cut. After cutting tomatoes into chunks, the tomatoes went into the food processor.

Have three bowls. Abe moved the bucket of muddy tomatoes next to the sink where he washed and rinsed the tomatoes. He placed them in the first bowl. The second bowl is for the parts to be cut off, it's the compost bowl. The third bowl is for the freshly trimmed tomatoes ready for the food processor.

Handling the tomatoes and vegetables is a rewarding experience. Take note of their textures, colors and fragrances. Let all your senses become involved, it's very enjoyable. Connecting with the food we eat and being thankful for the Good Lord for providing is good for the soul. In Brownsville, Oregon in the little patch of earth we've been blessed with, we had a bounteous harvest this year.

Allow your heart be filled with gratitude!

The photo is of the piccalilli. Each layer gets a layer of salt: cabbage,tomatoes, green and red peppers, onions and celery.

Now it will sit over night in one of my husband's (John Holbrook) grandmother Pyland's crock.

Relish and Piccalilli is made from what is left over after the harvest. Waste not, want not is a motto of days past. Nothing was wasted in my parents generation at least not by their families.

My mother was raised during World War II, 15 miles south of London in Cowley, Middlesex. Her family consisted of her father (William) Edward Davies, mother Emma Cockerel and her two older sisters Peggy and Phyllis. They shared a house their grandmother, cousins, aunt and uncle. They experienced extreme shortages and food rationing.

My step-dad, William (Bill) Skilling was raised in Cottage Grove Oregon and Northern California, he tells stories of the Great Depression when his family had to live in a cleaned out chicken coop. He spoke fondly of seeing his mother and aunts making piccalilli.

My father, William Douglas (Doug) Conklin's family consisted of his father William (Bill)Henry Conklin, mother Netta Delone (Dee) Aubrey, brother Dale and sister Anita (Ginger, they fared a little better in Hollywood California as his father's paint business "Treasure Tone Paint" prospered, but other family members tell stories of saving bits of string to have on hand since they didn't have any money to buy more or it simple wasn't available. His Aunt Clara could unravel an old worn out sweater and use the yard to knit something else useful. She continued this practice even after the depression ended and she was living comfortably in the river rock home her and her husband built with their own hands in Livingston California.

Some may think that recycling is a new idea one thought up by progressive thinkers, but it's actually a very old way of living.

It's nice to see it making a come back. In years past, everything was preserved and used.

I love the aromas and colors of the chopped vegetables. We put all the chopped vegetables that the recipe calls for in the crock.

Since we used heirloom tomatoes, we saved some of the seeds. I'll plant the seeds in January or February indoors and move them out to the grow boxes when the weather warms up. Cut slices of the tomato, I just picked some out of the bucket that is heading for the compost. These are Green Tiger Heirloom tomatoes.

After separating the seeds from the tomato, place the seeds in a fine strainer. Rinse the seeds with water, while pushing the excess tomato through the strainer with your thumbs or fingers. The tomato flesh quite easily rinses through the strainer, while the tomato seeds are cleaned by rubbing them around on the wire of the strainer. Enjoy the slippery texture of the seeds.

Air dry the tomato seeds on parchment paper or wax paper that has been labeled with seed type and date. (DON'T THINK "I'll remember.)

In a couple of days, when seeds are dry, put them in a jar or zip lock bag and store in cool dry place. (This is important because seeds need to be kept cool and dry, preferable away from light and animals that eat them, i.e. mice.)Keep them in a safe place until they are ready to plant, you have already begun next year food preservation.

These little jewels hold the future of next years harvest.

Mother's Been Gone 4 Years This Thanksgiving Week.

This is my mother and I. She was probably about 27 or 28 and I was 7 or 8. We were both young.

http://a4.ec-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/128/fd275d4da2e0ccd7a6b2c58f86ac7217/l.jpg

Family dinners: My mother created the best! She learned to become a great cook and baker as an adult.

She grew up not being allowed in the kitchen, the 3rd daughter of older parents, she was a surprise baby, her mother thought she done having children and in your 40's in the 1930's you were pretty safe to think that, my mother was the exception.

Born in 1933, spending most of her growing up years during World War II, 15 miles south of London.

Her childhood held memories that no child should ever have to have and many beloved memories of her parents patience with her and their protection. She loved sharing memories of her father's victory garden and rabbits, his humor and kindness. Her mother's sternness. She regretted causing her parents heartache during her teenage years. Despite being raised during a war, she had a wonderful sense of humor, loved freedom, was very patriotic as an American who earned her citizenship and never forgot her mother country, England where most of her family remained.

She tried hard and dedicated her life to her family and church, always striving to create traditions that would hold her family together in her new country, so far from her family in England.

We are coming up on 4 years this Thanksgiving week, without her wonderful meals, especially during the holidays. Oh, we try to replicate her delicious pies, English potatoes and gravy, but she still holds the honor of being our favorite cook and baker. She always gave her Aunt Minn credit for teaching her how to make perfect flaky pie crust. Never had a recipe, just went by feel, first putting flour and salt in a bowl, then Crisco, and slowly adding just the right amount of water until it felt perfect, never overworking the dough, just hand kneading it a little so as to not make it tough.

She said some people have a chicken gene, causing them to love chickens. She had the gene and loved her chicken flock. I inherited the gene.

I am thankful for the years I had her as my mother here on the earth. I miss her. I miss going to her home and feeling like a daughter again, no matter how old I was. I miss her English accent that everybody loved and I couldn't discern because she just sounded like my mother, that's what she always sounded like. However, I could hear her beautiful accent when she left a message on the answering machine or in a home movie, and I loved it too.

The world of waterfalls.

I left the stress of every day life by visiting water falls with my friend Teresa Graves. Walking further then we expected, up and down more hills then we bargained for, we were rewarded by these majestic creations of nature. Getting drenched with the spray of the falling waters, having all sounds muted except for the roar of the water and the amazing wind it created transported my friend and I to a different place. We were suddenly stress free, worry free, and feeling the freedom that mother nature offers.

We didn't talk to each other by the waterfalls, the waterfalls did all the communicating. We listened, looked, felt what it had to say. It reverenced our words, no words can really describe the power and wonder of a waterfall.

The white spot to the left of the waterfall about 1/2 way though the falling water is my friend walking along the trail, she's wearing a white coat. This gives a perspective of the size of this waterfall.

A whole different climate was created by the waterfall. With just a few steps towards it, we entered another dimension. We walked behind it and out the other-side. A few steps away from it, the climate we started in, returned. I can only think of a few things that can transform everything you feel in just a few steps or a few moments. If you want a change, visit a waterfall.

Viewing the world of fall colors ranging from yellow, green, orange, red and blue sky with pure white puffy clouds through the waterfall enhanced our awareness of the changing season and all it's beauty.

Wholesome Living: Don't Throw Out the Hush Puppies! Read the Tipping...

Wholesome Living: Don't Throw Out the Hush Puppies! Read the Tipping...: Guarded by the book fairy statue, my reading spot is nestled in the shade of a hazelnut tree with the water of the bubbling mill race percol...

Don't Throw Out the Hush Puppies! Read the Tipping Point and find out why!

Guarded by the book fairy statue, my reading spot is nestled in the shade of a hazelnut tree with the water of the bubbling mill race percolating in the background. Swinging gentle on the garden swing, I just finished my summer book today,

"The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference" by Malcolm Gladwell,

just in the nick of time, I still have the Hush Puppies!

They are not the Hush Puppies I wore in elementary school, they belonged to John's late mother. She had an amazing collection of shoes. I loved her shoes in the Hush Puppy box, and asked if I could have them. She wore a size 6 1/2 and I wear a 9, and sometimes a large 8. No matter how hard I try, I can't squeeze my foot into them. My friend who I thought could use them has an extra wide foot, they don't fit her either.

I remember the grey suede lace up Hush Puppies I wore in the 1960's to elementary school. They were not pretty but did come with a cute shoe brush with stiff metal bristles. They were practical and went along with my simple wardrobe including my grey wool skirt, which I loved. Girls only wore dresses, jumpers and skirts at Kamala Elementary school in Oxnard, California in the 60's. Pants and shorts were never worn to school. We changed into our play clothes when we got home from school, which were usually pants or shorts or an old dress. I walked to school like so many children did in Oxnard, it was only a few blocks away and on the same street that I lived on. My address was 1212 West Kamala Street.

Today I like to use the numbers 1212 as my lucky numbers.

My family even had a basset hound like the one on the Hush Puppy box. Her name was Bridget, she was brown and white. When we moved from the city of Oxnard to the country in San Luis Obispo, Bridget and the rest of us suddenly had a new found freedom. My brother Dane and I got our first horse, Big John and my mother purchased chicks which grew up and taught us where eggs come from. Dane was blamed for Bridgett chasing a killing sheep. Dane was blamed for everything that went wrong, so I'm still not sure if it was his fault, either way, Bridget had to go to a new home where there was no livestock to chase.

Gladwell defines a tipping point as "the moment of critical mass, the threshold, the boiling point." The book seeks to explain and describe the "mysterious" sociological changes that mark everyday life. As Gladwell states, "Ideas and products and messages and behaviors spread like viruses do." The examples of such changes in his book include the rise in popularity and sales of Hush Puppies shoes in the mid-1990s and the steep drop in the New York City crime rate after 1990.

It was a fun book to read. The value of the box of Hush Puppy shoes in my bedroom went up from the pile to be donated to the thrift store to,

"Maybe I could sell these on E-Bay."

The tipping point is that magic moment when an idea,trend,or social behavior crosses a threshold and tips into huge influence or popularity. Trends like Sesame Street, teenage smoking, crime, epidemics and much more are discussed in this book.

When I was child I remember my dad, Doug Conklin talking about words that become popular and trying to come up with a word that would catch on.

The words, cool, neat, rad etc. all have their tipping points from ordinary words to extraordinary.

I don't think any of my dads words took off, I can't even remember what they were.

Many people want fame, fortune and recognition. How does that happen for some and not for others? Well, it seems you need: Salesmen, Maverns and Connectors. These are people with distinct personality traits that make things happen.

The Tipping Point discusses these phenomena in great detail.